scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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