Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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