She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
