Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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