He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
