What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
