Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Green mimosas i think yes
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We had sex on a dog bed..
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
