you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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