so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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