i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
