I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i dont even know how to be here
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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