i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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