I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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