Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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