And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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