They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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