Yo dont text me then not text me
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
