Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
