so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Everything about him screamed your future.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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