Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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