I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
