there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
