so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
