He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
