ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
