He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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