I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
