I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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