They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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