I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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