Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
