also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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