when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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