We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
