Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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