Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
