Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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