I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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