How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
