moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
