Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We are all done wearing pants today
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
