Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
