Your face is a jimmy john
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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