Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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