whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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