I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize