alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
