white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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