dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
