Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
